Truth Or Dare

I happen to be in a long distance relationship. While I realize the distance is necessary ( i.e. I would never get any studying done) most of the time it just sucks.
Thus enter... the virtues of a webcam.

A few nights ago, we both decided to play "Truth or Dare". It began much like a junior-high session of spin the bottle-

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
If you could have any super power, what would it be?"
"Do you think I'm pretty?"

It was taking some effort to settle into it.
Thus enter... the power of a bottle of cheap wine.

Soon, the questions got a bit more interesting-

"Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend?"
"What have we not done sexually that you've always wanted to do?"
"Do you still think I'm pretty?"

I was enjoying this immensely.
Thus enter... the second bottle of cheap wine.

Dare became a lot more popular than truth at that point. Getting naked in front of your webcam is like watching yourself in a porno.
Note for future reference, slipping your webcam the tongue is not the same as making out with your boyfriend.

Just me. 

Never Trust A Lawyer

I was at the grocery store in Silver Spring, debating the merits of cheddar over swiss in the deli section, when I made eye contact with a woman. We both smiled and she mentioned something in passing. Not having caught it, I turned.
"I'm extremely embarrassed... but can I ask you for a favor?" She must have been having the same cheese dilemma so I continued listening.
"I've locked my keys and purse in the BMW outside and I desperately need to get home. Would you be able to loan me ten dollars for a taxi?"
Okay- I know what your thinking. She's a crack whore and I should walk away. But here's the catcher: she was well-dressed, extremely well-spoken, and I was standing in the damn cheese aisle- it's not a hotbed for pan-handlers these days.
"I'm a lawyer with Roberson, Dutch and Wade downtown- I can give you my employee ID and you can call to verify it if you don't believe me. Aside from that-the only thing I can give you right now is my word that I will pay you back."
Damn that Catholic guilt.
I pretty much wrote off ten bucks in my head, but then I said, "I'll loan you the money. But do you mind walking me to your car just so I can be sure it's legit?"
"I can, but the car is parked in the metro lot across the way."
Hmm.
"Why don't I call BMW for you?" As all good queens know, BMW has 24-hour service. God love those insomniac Germans.
Apparently I was making this too difficult and she lost it.
"DON'T YOU DARE CONDESCEND ME! I can make my own fucking phone calls. You're are all the same. Faggots." And she stormed away.
Wow.
And to think I just wanted to get some cheese.

Inauguration

It's a place to begin. I'm not exactly sure how long the story will continue, but dammit- it will be an interesting read along the way.

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