Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Am I Nancy Pelosi's Love Child?

It felt like Christmas morning when I rolled out of bed. I knew the election results would be good- we stopped watching CNN last night after the polls confirmed that the Democrats had control of the House. (Although, Andersen Cooper could have told us that the Nazis had thrown a coup and we wouldn't have cared, really.) We didn’t know the extent of the power shift until I logged on this morning. Of course, my first inclination was to call all the Republicans I knew. All four of them. Since we already gave Darin unmerciful shit this weekend for hiding in his log cabin, I immediately moved down the list and gave my parents a call.

My mother answered. She’s no politico, but I still managed to do a little elephant stomping.

Then she completely stunned me.

“Did you know your father dated Nancy Pelosi?”

My dad has “Upstate Conservative New York Republican” built into his genetic code. The thought of Nancy and Steve shagging at the drive-in was as bizarre as George Dubyah making out with Natalie Maines from the Dixie Chicks.

But then I got to thinking… what if Nancy Pelosi WAS actually my mom? Now, I’m not trading in my own mother- she totally rocks. But, c’mon- having a mom emblazoned with the title of “Madame Speaker” is pretty close to rock-star status.

Maybe I will just start calling my mom "Madame Speaker" for the hell of it.


Blogger A Thing of Beauty said...

Why do you like Nancy Pelosi?

7:06 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

Well... she'll be the first female speaker of the house in January (for starters). Plus, doesn't she remind you of Judge Judy? I love Judge Judy.

11:24 PM  
Anonymous Stash said...

I bet she makes a fabulous meat sauce.

Italian moms are known for their cooking. (Yes it's a stereotype but it has a grain of truth as so many do.)

12:14 AM  
Blogger jacob henry said...

you do sort of have her eyes. . .

3:53 PM  
Anonymous Jantzen said...

Maybe you could call your mom "Madame Drinker." Or maybe just "Madame." We know you can't call her "Drinker of the House" because that's your title.

4:36 PM  
Blogger jay lassiter said...

lucky you, i was up all night tuesday and and still feeling a bit bedraggled but it all.

i worked on the menendez campaign here in NJ and when they called his decisive win at 9ish, i was stunned and for a second i though it was a trick. (i am usually not so self-absorbed to think that CNN is fucking with me personally, but i was a bundle of nerves, so....) it took a long time to sink in and nothing seems different to me yet.

regarding pelosi, i wouldn't underestimate her. and to the GOP i say this: Get used to it, nancy wears the pants(uit) in the Congress now.

9:01 AM  

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