Thursday, November 02, 2006

Tribal Membership

Last night, Darin, Chris and I headed to the Arizona State Fair in search of the Pet Shop Boys. The state fair has been in full-tilt for a month, complete with dueling Ferris wheels, deep-fried coke vendors, and a host of dirty animals. The fair has also hosted numerous concerts throughout the month, and last night night was the Phoenix stop-over for the Pet Shop Boys' Fundamental tour.

The three of us thought the Arizona State Fair and the Pet Shop Boys made strange bedfellows, but then again, it was the wild, wild west. Reserved seating cost only 20 bucks, and for the chance to see a major band playing less than two miles away, we couldn't pass it up.

In my 30 years of concert attending experience, I have never been to a show that started remotely on-time. But with less than half the venue filled, the Pet Shop Boys were obviously anxious to get the hell out of dodge and the house lights dropped promptly at 7:02pm. The three of us were still shuffling to our seats as the crowd erupted around us, queens hopping and clapping like epileptic rabbits. We sat down to catch a breath and recover.

The first song began. The back-up dancers took to the stage. The crowd quieted in hushed expectancy.

Then I felt it.

tap. tap. tap.

I turned, only to set my sights on a rotund, one-eyed, heavily pierced Native American woman. Let's call her Woo-Woo.

Woo-Woo, in heavy whisper: "OMG! Have you seen Pet Shop Boys before??!! I have. I have seen Pet Shop Boys, New Order, Depeche Mode... I LOVE THEM ALL."

I nodded. I shot my "I don't give a shit but how nice" smile, and turned back around to focus on the concert.

Darin and Chris both shot side glances, acknowledging that I had indeed found a new girlfriend.

Then it happened again.

tap. tap. tap.

Maybe Woo-Woo thought we got off to a rocky start and wanted a little more slap and tickle.
I turned around.
She leaned in.

"Are you two together?" she said, nodding to Chris.

She flipped a thumbs-up, extended her hand in a handshake, and blurted, "I love your kind! All of your people. You're just great!!"

I think I heard Darin swallow his tongue.

I nodded in acknowledgement. I mean, I like my people, too. I felt like I had exclusive membership to the tribe. I know she had good intentions and didn't see that she had indirectly shot the gay tribe down. But Woo-Woo only had one eye. I'll blame it on her tunnel vision.


Blogger Darin said... omitted the fact that she smelled of Booze and Bingo Cards.

7:26 PM  
Blogger Matty said...

LOL. My ex said he had a similar comment while he was antiquing in the Acadian region of SW Nova Scotia. So it appears one-eyed natives and Acadians approve.

10:11 PM  
Blogger Homer said...

That is actually a sweet story. I wish there were more people like her.

6:30 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

Homer, she actually was really sweet, and we told her goodbye when we left. It was just kinda odd and amusing to be referred to as "your kind."

7:22 PM  
Blogger robert said...

if Darin ever feels like a 3rd wheel, just let me know! i will be glad to join you!

11:06 PM  
Anonymous Timothy said...

OK then . . . . . too much!

9:19 AM  
Blogger Riley said...

I would've loved it if you'd said you liked her kind, too, and then made reference to either a John Wayne movie or something with pirates.

1:58 AM  
Blogger Riley said...

BTW, have you guys seen BORAT? OH MY GOD.

2:00 AM  
Blogger Tay Hota said...

Woo-Woo... omg thats funny...

11:22 AM  
Anonymous Stash said...

I'm kinda interested in how they landed a gig at the Arizona State Fair. I mean, c'mon. They're the Pet Shop Boys....not a has-been like Barry Manilow.

No offense to Arizonans, mind you.

LOL @ Darin.

4:54 PM  
Blogger TonkaManOR said...

Native Americans are pretty good at acknowledging people of Two-Spirits.

5:52 PM  

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