Triple Salchow and a Lutz for Good Measure

I am a closet ice-skating fanatic. There are many of us out there, hiding in the shadows for two lonely years. Yes, we've got the world championships. But worlds are not imbued with the same pressure, drama and emotion... that medal-hungry viper pit that is the Olympics.
Fuck curling.
I don't care about rocks on ice.
Just give me the slut from Russia and a triple-toe loop.

In my self-induced pre-skate pep rally, I have been purusing websites, feeding on early predictions and pictures. Now don't think for one second that ice dancing is another name for ice skating. Yes, the shoes are the same. And the ice is probably cold in either sport when your ass hits it. But if you've ever seen Strictly Ballroom you'll know what I'm talkin' about, Willis. these people are skating lite. For real real.

Ice Skating = aerial acrobatics and graceful power.
Ice Dancing = sex in a sit-spin.
The pictures below depict the sexual comedy that is ice dancing. And pictures don't lie. Well, at least these pictures don't.