Three's a Crowd
So I've had the incredible pleasure of spending a week long sebatical with my boyfriend for spring break. We met the parents (mine), painted the bedroom (his) and spent far too much time tossing back margaritas and staring into eachother's eyes. Flying home amplified the separation anxiety, but it also provided justification that this was a short-term solution for a long-term commitment.
I returned to DC and spent the night recounting the week with my sister and some friends at a bar. One gay couple provided a few of their own stories, alluding to their "open relationship". Now- these happen to be two incredibly hot men... hot enough to convert the straight breeding population. They both have solid jobs, they own a house together, and are quite the fetching pair- yet they couldn't stop clamoring on about the impossibility of monagamy. Apparently, they are able to partition sex separately in their relationship ...I think it's kinda like starting out on the first level of a video game: no limitations, everyone can play, and if you can't get past level one and make it to level two you're a god-damn moron.
As they talked, I just nodded, feigning interest like they were the ultimate relationship yentas, but it couldn't have been farther from the truth. I'll tell ya why. For me, sex isn't always a physical thing, really. I mean- I do get off (sometimes) and it's pretty incredible. But, it's always more about sharing the possibility of that experience with someone, more so than the experience itself.
There's also that sense of exclusivity and safety in monogamy. Last night, I felt like I was the narrator for an animal planet documentary. I spent some time observing the gay couple, as they took laps around the straight bar trolling for a lucky (or unlucky) participant... they must have engaged the hunt for at least an hour before they decided to give it up. What a wasted effort... they could have spent that hour enjoying eachother's company, knowing they would be going home together.
I guess I'm a little jealous that I don't have that option right now. But when I do, I certainly don't plan on wasting my time looking for something else.
I returned to DC and spent the night recounting the week with my sister and some friends at a bar. One gay couple provided a few of their own stories, alluding to their "open relationship". Now- these happen to be two incredibly hot men... hot enough to convert the straight breeding population. They both have solid jobs, they own a house together, and are quite the fetching pair- yet they couldn't stop clamoring on about the impossibility of monagamy. Apparently, they are able to partition sex separately in their relationship ...I think it's kinda like starting out on the first level of a video game: no limitations, everyone can play, and if you can't get past level one and make it to level two you're a god-damn moron.
As they talked, I just nodded, feigning interest like they were the ultimate relationship yentas, but it couldn't have been farther from the truth. I'll tell ya why. For me, sex isn't always a physical thing, really. I mean- I do get off (sometimes) and it's pretty incredible. But, it's always more about sharing the possibility of that experience with someone, more so than the experience itself.
There's also that sense of exclusivity and safety in monogamy. Last night, I felt like I was the narrator for an animal planet documentary. I spent some time observing the gay couple, as they took laps around the straight bar trolling for a lucky (or unlucky) participant... they must have engaged the hunt for at least an hour before they decided to give it up. What a wasted effort... they could have spent that hour enjoying eachother's company, knowing they would be going home together.
I guess I'm a little jealous that I don't have that option right now. But when I do, I certainly don't plan on wasting my time looking for something else.
posted by Michael at 12:48 PM
1 Comments:
I'v only seen two kinds of 'open relationships'.
1) Fear of lonelyness, however well masked, so we stay together - which can be a good relationship, with a very close friendship as a base
2) one person in the relationsip suffer, but won't admit to it
The guys you met might be managing it alright though, but from all the couples I'v met.. I dunno.
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