Sunday, March 27, 2005

Three's a Crowd

So I've had the incredible pleasure of spending a week long sebatical with my boyfriend for spring break. We met the parents (mine), painted the bedroom (his) and spent far too much time tossing back margaritas and staring into eachother's eyes. Flying home amplified the separation anxiety, but it also provided justification that this was a short-term solution for a long-term commitment.
I returned to DC and spent the night recounting the week with my sister and some friends at a bar. One gay couple provided a few of their own stories, alluding to their "open relationship". Now- these happen to be two incredibly hot men... hot enough to convert the straight breeding population. They both have solid jobs, they own a house together, and are quite the fetching pair- yet they couldn't stop clamoring on about the impossibility of monagamy. Apparently, they are able to partition sex separately in their relationship ...I think it's kinda like starting out on the first level of a video game: no limitations, everyone can play, and if you can't get past level one and make it to level two you're a god-damn moron.
As they talked, I just nodded, feigning interest like they were the ultimate relationship yentas, but it couldn't have been farther from the truth. I'll tell ya why. For me, sex isn't always a physical thing, really. I mean- I do get off (sometimes) and it's pretty incredible. But, it's always more about sharing the possibility of that experience with someone, more so than the experience itself.
There's also that sense of exclusivity and safety in monogamy. Last night, I felt like I was the narrator for an animal planet documentary. I spent some time observing the gay couple, as they took laps around the straight bar trolling for a lucky (or unlucky) participant... they must have engaged the hunt for at least an hour before they decided to give it up. What a wasted effort... they could have spent that hour enjoying eachother's company, knowing they would be going home together.
I guess I'm a little jealous that I don't have that option right now. But when I do, I certainly don't plan on wasting my time looking for something else.

9 Comments:

Blogger writers_bloc said...

Just wanted to drop a note to say good for you. I agree, monogammy can happen and it is a good thing. While I understand that some people are comofortable in an open relationship, there is soemting about being with one person that is nice and it is more than just the jelousy, or wonder factor. Contentment is nice. exploring with another person is nice. Let someone else have the rest, I am happy with my one.

9:41 AM  
Blogger Sven said...

I'v only seen two kinds of 'open relationships'.
1) Fear of lonelyness, however well masked, so we stay together - which can be a good relationship, with a very close friendship as a base
2) one person in the relationsip suffer, but won't admit to it

The guys you met might be managing it alright though, but from all the couples I'v met.. I dunno.

4:33 PM  
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The Tea Tree and Eucalyptus oils are useful for treating a variety of respiratory ailments. These are excellent for the treatment of colds and coughs. They can be massaged into the chest or burned in an oil burner to help clear the airways and prevent congestion. Tea Tree oil is a natural antiseptic and can be dabbed on cuts, bites and stings. It is often used to treat spots and pimples and when diluted with water, acts as a mouth gargle (keep in-mind it should never be swallowed).

Another basic antiseptic is Geranium oil. With its distinctive perfume and pain relieving properties, it is a necessary inclusion when starting out.

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The herbs, Thyme and Rosemary can be grown in pots and used when needed. To create essential oils from herbs, stew some large amounts in pure water, collect the steam and cool it. The oil will rise to the top of the drained water and can be collected with an eyedropper. Alternatively, a "flower still" can be purchased to make the job easier. Thyme and Rosemary are both antiseptics and can be used in skin care preparations. They are also delicious when used in cooking.

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4:58 AM  
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1. Stand up straight, sit up straight. When your body is in alignment your energy can flow and when your energy is flowing freely, you can flow.

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3. Repeat positive affirmations. Things like "I feel good", "Positive energy flows through my body", "I see the good in all".

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