Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Goldfish

I have the type of personality that requires constant motivation. Perhaps it's the fact that I'm a product of the multmedia generation. Overstimulation is the fabric of life. (Personally, I think it can be attributed to my self-diagnosed ADD.) Regardless, I survive by setting milestones. Of course, when I hit a milestone, I get sucked into depression because the milestone has passed. So I mentally set another milestone to pull me out of the funk. Maybe it's a trip to the grocery store (although I don't get so worked up about food these days ) or the inevitable approach of the weekend. It really doesn't matter... it's just a constant game of baiting. It's a vicious cycle... and I'd imagine there's medication for shit like this.
This has become my coping mechanism for long-distance dating as well. We set up a time to talk... that gets me through the day. Then I inevitably bait at the end... "So I'll email ya tomorrow in class?" (That buys me another 12 hours.) We'll coordinate plans for a trip... (sweet. Just bought myself two weeks.) At this rate, I refuse entertaining the thought of living together- I don't know if I could handle constant and unending visitation rights. I guess it's like a goldfish: in the presence of unending food, they'll keep eating until their stomachs explode. I think I might suffer a similar fate. That could get ugly. Really ugly.

1 Comments:

Blogger Plusman315 said...

Ah, man, that would be some dream, but it was crazy in real life. Anyways, LD reationships r mad tough, I'm an expert at screwing them up. Good luck with it.

7:33 PM  

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